Anguish

-The rain fell hard against the stained glass windows of her bedroom, and the sound of branches hitting the same glass echoed throughout the room. Teanna turned her head, looking at the window, watching the shadows dancing across it. The single candle lit in the room gave sufficient light for her to watch Noah and Bella sleep in each other's arms. She had placed them on the bed beside her. Where was he? Teanna looked at the phone that lay silently on her night table. She had called him, call, after call, after call. No response. The same answering machine kicking in with the same tired voice, lacking life.

She remembered having argued with him, though why, she didn't know. Teanna didn't need much of a reason to argue, all she needed was to be in a bad mood. Sadly, it happened that he had been in a bad mood, and just as he said, he wouldn't strike her, he would pull himself away. And that's what he had done. Her heart ached, and a few warm tears spilled down her cheeks. It hadn't been long, but...it had been a week, hadn't it? A week?

Teanna pulled the blanket over the tiny bodies of her two children, then sat up only to sit back down on the window sill with her small pillow. She opened the window and looked outside, watching the moonlight flicker over the tiny pool of koi that she had meticulously taken care of this past year. The koi had grown quite large, so she had to expand it and tear down a few rose bushes. Teanna felt the cold wind against her, so cold, she couldn't help but wonder how it wasn't snowing. Bu just as she thought of it, the rain turned to ice. "Hail..."-

Noah once again entered Nede. He was trudging through the abandoned streets, and the hood of his dark trench-coat was pulled over his head. Drops of liquid splashed upon the ground from the tips of his hair; silver tendrils stuck to his face, and he had a distant look in his depthless eyes. Noah's gloved hands were tucked neatly in the pockets of his denim, and he continued on. Muddy boots cushioned by the slippery ground, he continued onwards. His broad eyebrows tugged together, furrowing to form a deep frown; lines of wrinkles appeared near the corner of his eyes, and in all aspects, Noah looked angry.

It's been a week. Upon the argument with Teanna, Noah left Nede. He traveled to the nearest [North] Meeting House of the M.I.A. Council. Although he gave up his position as a council member, Noah still feels a dearness to the Meeting Houses, of which he designed himself. Teanna had been in a bad mood, and taken out her anger on him. Noah's not the type of guy who would stand it and do nothing when someone takes out their anger on him when he didn't do any wrong. So he left. He needed some sort of peace.

Noah reached Eclipse, and stood outside. He stood in such a position that made it possible for him to be seen from the window. His head was tilted down, and he listened silently to the dripping noises of rainfall. Noah stood there, not sure exactly how long until it started to hail. It got so cold that he gave a slight shiver. Settling down had dulled him, and he can't even be in such fierce weather without giving a slight shiver. Was he right in settling down? Moisture dripped from his long eyelashes, and his vision ascended slowly. His orbs were a brilliant electric blue, and his hands clenched in his pockets. He would not abandone his children, but the fury's still evident; manifestations of Noah's anger is his chilly blue hues, and hardened expression. There is no tenderness in his counteance.

-Teanna watched the sky, lost in the movement of the dark clouds. It pained her that she couldn't see the stars. She much longed for their innocent sparkle. Then she heard Bella cooing. Teanna slipped away from the window and closed it. It must've gotten cold for the two children. She pulled another blanket and placed it over them. Would he ever return to her? Would he ever return for her or would it just be for the children? The thoughts hurt her, and she wanted to cry. It was all her fault once more. Her fault. Noah's fingers crept over his mother's hand, making her gasp.

Teanna smiled down to the small child, then lifted him in her arms. "Are you hungry, love?" Noah smiled and reached up, trying to touch his mother's face. Teanna's fears and worries were completely washed away as she watched her young son. She walked out of the room and turned on the lights in the hallway, all the way to the kitchen. She should have gotten curtains, but she kept forgetting to purchase them, so everything was visible from outside. It bothered her to think that any stranger could see them, but the yard was pretty large, surely at such a distance from the gate not many people could distinguish details, right?

She placed Noah on the counter beside her as she warmed up some milk. It bothered her that she'd never been able to breastfeed her children. Her milk lacked the required nutrients, and would have been of no use to the children. Teanna poured the warm milk in a bottle and holding the child in her arms, she fed him. She wondered if the rain would stop. It had been bad weather for quite a long time now. "Where are you, Noah?" Teanna turned her head, glancing at another phone. She placed the bottle down and approached the phone. She slowly dialed his number, and waited for it to ring.-

Noah stared at Eclipse, lost in thought. Why did he come back? Was it for Teanna, or the kids? Could he forgive her for the imprudence of her behaviors? Noah was just about to turn and slip away, perhaps back to the nearest Meeting House, or just rent a room in some tavern, when he felt a faint vibration. His hand descended, reaching down to grasp his cell-phone. Noah never puts on a ring-tone; it always disturbs his peace, and sometimes conversation with others, whenever it goes off. If it's just a vibration, he'd be able to keep continuing the conversation, or do whatever he wants to, without being too disturbed.

Noah brought the phone out of his pocket, once more examining the fine design upon it. It's a rather thick navy blue phone... upon glancing at his phone, Noah saw the thick silver ribbon that wrapped around his wrist. It was given to him by Teanna as remembrance when he left, and he kept it with him ever since. He valued it as a treasure. His heart ached, and pain was obvious in his rugged features. Noah saw the call as coming from Teanna, hesitating. His finger pressed against a button, and alas, he picked up.

He clicked the button to turn on the phone, and placed the receiver against his ear. A faint ringing was heard, for his silver earring grinded lightly against the phone when he put his ear against it. But that was about all, for Noah said nothing into the phone. The noise of falling hails continued around him, and he exhaled slowly. What was he to say to her?

-Teanna's breath caught in her throat as she heard the ringing stop, and no answering machine. That meant he'd picked up. Her hands were shaking, and he would've probably heard her sniffling. Failed attempts at keeping her tears at bay. "Noah.." She whispered, as she had done so many times before. There was so much pain in her voice, so much sadness. "...Please come home." She heard the rain, and knew he must be somewhere outside. Was he in Nede though? "Please come home." She repeated, followed by a soft "I'm sorry" Before she burst into tears and pressed the "End Talk" button on the phone.

Her hand came up, and her fingers brushed against the green ribbon around her neck. She still hadn't taken it off. She didn't want to. She wouldn't. Teanna turned and wiped her eyes, staring at the reflection of herself in the kitchen window. She couldn't even remember what had started their argument. Why she even continued it? Why she insisted with it. Teanna turned and picked up the bottle of milk, continuing to feed her young son.-

Noah listened to her words, without giving a reply. The cold was making him irritable, and after Teanna finished and hung up, Noah brought the phone back into his pocket. Pulling his bag over his shoulder, he glanced to Eclipse. The day he left, he took his clothing, threw them into a bag, and abruptly walked away from her. A part of him wondered how it'd be like if he never came back; he pondered on how it'd be like for the both of them. So much anger built up inside him that he felt sure to explode, and his eyes were getting brighter, aswell as colder. With each passing moment, he seemed to get angrier, rather than calm down.

Noah eyed the building looming before him. She is sorry, isn't she? But what if she does something like that to him again? How long can he withstand bad moods and pointless arguments? Noah stared out from under his hood, and alas gathered his voice to call out, "Teanna!" He repeated her name in a yell several times, then stepped closer, until he reached the gate. A gloved-hand slid out of his pocket, palm resting against the gate. He had no intention of just walking in as if nothing happened. She did something to him, and Noah intends to resolve it.

-Teanna walked back into her bedroom, and placed Noah on the bed beside Bella. Her eyes were completely red by now, swollen, and the tip of her nose was also a bright red. She couldn't stop her tears. What had she done? She'd torn a family apart. Her own family. And then she heard her name being yelled outside. It...It sounded like Noah. "Could it be..?" Her lips curled into a small smile and she quickly moved to the door, only to realize he was yelling her name out in anger. Her excitement faded, all joy that had somehow found its way to her, now faded. Teanna's fingers curled around the door knob, and turned it.

Teanna opened the door and stepped outside, barefoot and dressed only in her nightgown. She hadn't even taken that extra second to pull on a coat, or scarf, or anything. She just ran out as fast as she could. She looked ahead, and all she could see were his blazing blue eyes in the distance. Fear gripped her as she closed the door behind her. Yes, of course she feared his anger. She always feared his anger. If he wasn't to strike her, he would walk out. Which was what he'd done.

Teanna approached the large metal gates, and unlocked them, then pulled the door open. She then stood there, looking straight at him.-

Noah waited for Teanna to come out. As he did so, he considered his alternatives. He could pick up his job again, and continue life as it's always been before he met her. Go wherever he please, anytime, with no fear of death. Noah realized that as he got closer to someone, he feared death. He didn't want to part with them, and so he fears death. Death is the inevitable end; darker than the strongest jealousy, fierce as love in some ways, and almost all-consuming. Would he be able to start back up once again after settling down? Does he want to?

Upon Teanna approaching him, Noah furrowed his brows even more. "What do you have to say for your lack of sensibilities?" His words were said sharply, and his tone was nowhere near friendly. Noah felt heat rising to his cheeks, and his eyes were narrowed to dangerous slits. He was practically shaking with the fury .. then something logical sparked across his mind, like a flame in the darkness. Noah can be quite volatile, but his rational thinking style would return briefly, and at times would be adequate to resolve whatever impediments.

To his own questions, Noah could answer. He doesn't want to leave her. Teanna's the one who helped him sleep at night, who saved him from the nightmares that constantly taunted him. She bore his children for him. But those aren't the only reasons. Noah would not stay if he was only grateful; he would stay because he loves her. He loved her then, and still loves her now, no matter his mood. Sifting through those appeasing thoughts, Noah reached out, arms around Teanna by the waist, trapping her arms against her own body. He yanked her against him, harder than he ever did, more so than he intended. It would, of course, appear to Teanna that he was acting out of anger since the last words of his spoken. But he was not. Noah wants to resolve everything, and be with her as he'd always been. If not for his indignation, Noah would've missed Teanna this past week. His lips forced themselves on hers roughly, and his breathing was quick and uncontrolled. This isn't lust; it was .. a rather violent touch of comfort, of appeasement.

-She noted his shaking, the tone of his voice, and the way he looked at her. She wanted to run. She could feel her own body begging her brain to let her run. Urge the muscles,move away. Her skin felt as though it was begging to crawl off. His anger, yes, his anger and her uncontrollable fear, those were the things she was most afraid of. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I'm sorry...Noah, I'm sorry." Teanna looked down, the words continuing to pour out. The repeating 'I'm sorry', and the tears spilling down her cheeks. There seemed to be no consoling her.

As he gripped her waist, Teanna's first impulse was to scream. It seemed as though he would want to hurt her. But in a quick instant she realized it was an embrace. Her arms wrapped tightly around him, and her eyes closed as she felt his lips against hers. Indeed, the kiss hurt her, and so did the embrace. He was crushing her against his body, but she didn't care. "Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah..." His name was repeated in her mind, as she stood there, clinging to him in disbelief. She felt as though he would've walked away, he would've given her back the bracelet and walked away. She though he would. And now, now she felt guilty for it.-

Noah bit at her lips, tasting the blood. He pulled his lips away, moving it to her neck. The anger would naturally still exist, but he's already made a decision. He would stay. But his anger's like a tidal wave, difficult to pacify and fierce. Noah's lips were at her neck, scraping his teeth over various areas. Visible marks would appear, and Noah tasted once again, her blood. Then his lips touched the light green silk ribbon around her neck, and he paused. Noah fingered the ribbon, staring at it in wonder. So she never took it off.

"Lets go home." Noah lifted Teanna off her feet, grip around her waist loose, but firm. He held her against him, walking into Eclipse. His hood was tossed back, and hair sticking up and around his face wildly. Putting Teanna back on her feet, Noah closed the door, then locked it. He gazed at her intently, beads of liquid dripping from his eyelashes, running down his face, and splattering on the floor. He was cold, and shivering, but the anger faded soon after he saw the ribbon on her. A dark color seemed to spread over his eyes, overcoming the illuminating, but terrifying blue hue.

His hand slid down, fingers loosely around her wrist. Noah just watched her in silence, shivering spontaneously at times.

-Teanna whimpered softly, filled with pain as his biting was making her bleed. "Noah!" Teanna cried, wanting to push him off. She was just about to, when he paused at the ribbon around her neck. Her hand came up and she wiped at the blood that slowly trickled down her neck. And now the ribbon was going to stain. Teanna winced, she'd always taken such great care of it. Always took it off before a shower, before cooking, and before tending to the garden. And until now, it had been the same radiant green since he'd given it to her. Actually, it might have been even brighter.

As Noah picked her up, Teanna's arms wrapped tightly around him. There was still so much pain. Yes, joy as well, but so much pain. She never thought she'd be separated from him again. And when she saw him leave, her whole world came crashing down. "Come up." As he held her hand, Teanna pulled him after her and up the stairs to their bedroom. He was wet, and he could get sick. That wasn't a good thing. But she couldn't..she couldn't just let go of him. "You came back...You came back" Teanna whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around him. She didn't care that he was wet, and so much colder than her. She just wanted to hold him, to make sure he's real, to make sure it wasn't a dream.-

Noah allowed himself to be led away by Teanna, upstairs to their bedroom. It's been a week since he last came here. Noah slid out of his trench-coat, dropping it on the stairs. Then Teanna had her arms around him, and he returned the vigorous embrace. He released her hand briefly, curling his digits with the edge of his shirt to tug it upwards. Bringing his wet shirt off, Noah dropped it against the wall. "You're going to get a cold." He stood back for a moment to peer at her, noting how water dripped off of her nightgown, of which stuck to her body.

Noah's eyes lifted, lingering on the ribbon around her neck. It always pleased him, how she always kept it in such good condition. "Is it going to stain?" Noah stepped closer, bringing the tip of his finger daintily against the green silk ribbon. His lips pressed against her forehead, eyes fluttering closed. Noah's not exceptionally skilled with tender words; he offers his touch and strength. Then he thought of little Noah and Bella, and his eyes opened; Noah stared into Teanna's eyes intently, "How's Bella and Noah?"

-Teanna nodded a bit. "Well, I'll wash it, but there will probably still be a stain." She sighed, fingers quickly undoing the knot. She didn't like taking it off, after having worn it for such a long time, every time she removed it she felt 'naked'. Her skin had gotten used to the feel of the ribbon, so without it, it was a bit awkward. She moved away from him and placed the ribbon on the night table, then walked over to his closet, and pulled out a white shirt, along with a towel. "They're just fine." Teanna smiled up to him, handing him the shirt and towel before turning her head to look at her little angels, asleep on their bed. "Though, I believe Noah misses going to 'work' with his father."

Teanna grinned then looked down at her wet nightgown. She shrugged her shoulders and pulled it off, throwing it over by his shirt. She then pulled out another nightgown from her own small closet and put it on. "Where did you go?" Teanna whispered as she looked back at him. She then turned her head away and quickly rummaged through his closet, pulling out a pair of pajama pants, which she then tossed at him.-

Noah once heard a quote similiar to that before. No matter how you mend it, there's still a scar. He tugged his brows together, and caught the shirt and towel Teanna tossed him. He wiped the moisture off his body, then slipped on the shirt. Noah was watching her in silence, contemplating on her question before catching the pajama pants too. He undid his pants, pulling it off to toss against the wall, near where Teanna put her nightgown. He pulled on the pajama pants, then sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I went to the north Meeting House." Although Noah told Teanna of his past, and Camile, he never told her much of what he did before now. He kept the keys to the Meeting Houses, even though he scarcely goes there now. "What did you do this week?" It's .. a rather bizarre question, espicially his wording. But he wanted to know. He wants to know what she did whilst they've been separated. If he could choose, he wouldn't ever want to be separated from her. But sometimes situations catch people by surprise.

-She gave a small smile and looked around the room, as though calculating her words before she spoke them. Yet she wasn't even sure what she was calculating. Maybe she wanted her words, her description of her daily life, to not sound so boring. "I cooked, and took care of the children." Teanna spoke, later than intended, but there it was, the answer he requested. Teanna winced as she heard the hail crashing against the roof of the house. It would be quite a messy night. She liked all weather, no favorites, no hated ones, but of course it all depended on her mood. And she much wished it would be a clear night, so she could look at the moon. Sadly, mother Nature hated her.

Teanna then sat down on the bed, and crawled up beside the two snoring babies with a smile. They looked so peaceful. She couldn't help but wonder, though, if the past week had any effects of them. Probably, since Noah seemed a lot more agitated than usual. Maybe he just missed his father's presence. Teanna looked down, saddened. She hadn't expected herself to be so weak, to give in to stress like that. Teanna leaned forward, hand stretched out only to rest upon his shoulder. She squeezed gently, then tugged on his shirt. "It's late...We should sleep, my love."-

Noah counted the seconds that went by whilst Teanna hesitated for a reply. He glanced out the window, quietly musing when the hailing would end. Noah prefers a cool day, with the sun out. Not too hot or cold. He's fond of snow, but not quite so of the cold. Noah turned, following Teanna's movements as she crawled into bed. He slid closer, a hand lifting to rest above hers on his shoulder. He squeezed her hand lightly, shifting to lay beside her, with the babies on her other side.

"Did I hurt you?" Noah leaned over Teanna, tracing over the cuts he left on her neck with his fingertip. He bent, kissing at her neck tenderly. Noah is of a rough nature, and he knows that. Even with this knowledge, he regrets having touched her so violently. An arm swung over, laying over her belly. Noah kept his eyes on her neck, reluctant to look directly at her. He had hurt her with his own blasted violent nature. A frown formed on his broad eyebrows, and his eyes shifted about, unsure of what to look at.

"No, it's okay." Teanna smiled as she felt his lips against her neck, and she shook her head. It didn't bother her much, that's just how he was. It wasn't as though it was his intent to hurt her, and nor did he do it in anger or...It was in love. That's just how he acted..Right? Teanna leaned forward and kissed the top of his head. "My love." She whispered, sad still. Her arms wound tightly around him, holding his body close to hers. She didn't want to let go of him again. "Something wrong?" Teanna smiled, running her fingers through his hair, in an attempt to soothe him after having noticed his frown.

"You didn't hurt me." She repeated, as though trying to get the point through to him. She then shifted down, lowering herself to look straight in his eyes. Teanna giggled and kissed the tip of his nose. It seemed as though nothing had happened. Everything was back to normal.-

Teanna's words soothed him, but Noah still feels guilty. Even if he had not intended to, he caused her pain. He remembers the way she yelled out his name, as if to stop him. He had hurt her. That's the reality of it. Noah hugged her against him, smiling slightly up to her. "It seems nothing escapes you about me." Noah has the utmost composure with showing emotions, though that discipline weaked since he settled own. It rather surprised him that Teanna could so easily tell something's the matter. A part of him was pleased with the attention, but the other part didn't want to worry her with his moods.

Teanna slid down to meet his eyes, and Noah's smile broadened. He tilted his head, lips catching hers. He hadn't been able to kiss her for a week. He missed her. He missed her so much.

"How long have I lived with you?"

-Teanna grinned at the feel of his lips. Just what she needed. And then she pondered for a few minutes on his question. He had been living with her for almost an entire year now. He had come in when she was 5 months pregnant, and the children were now 8 months old. So, yes, it had been about a year. No wonder the past week had been so brutal on her. She'd woken up by his side, every morning for the past year. And she went to sleep in his arms every night. "It's been about a year, love." Teanna's hand moved up, fingers brushing gently against his cheek.

She remembered how awkward everything had been from the start. The strange embraces he had given her, the reluctant way he held her hand, the way he dragged her around behind him. Teanna giggled and closed her eyes. His touches were much more adequate now, but the awkward Noah still came up once in a while. Such as the violent bites that made her bleed. As she told him, she wouldn't break. But that didn't mean she wouldn't bleed.-

A year. Noah lifted a hand, flattening hers to put her palm against his cheek. This year has been the happiest of his life. He wants to tell her that. To tell her how much she means to him. But the words were always caughtin his throat, never spoken. She taught him so much, and held his hand when he needed someone most. Teanna's even been there when life seems to be going uphill. What more is there to wish for, save for a partner that can be there in the good times, aswell as the bad?

"What do you think about ..." Noah hesitated. He remembers bringing this up before, and it's been rather difficult for him to say something like this. He cleared his throat, lips moving against hers for a reaction from her. "...about having another child?" Noah gripped her nightgown lightly with a hand as a light pink color rose to his cheeks. Noah's gotten a lot less shy now, but the awkward part of him would sometimes appear. It just so seems that part's coming out now.

-Teanna smiled innocently at him, tip of her nose rubbing against his. She much liked the idea of having another child. She had told him that already, hadn't she? And she'd also had a while to think about since he'd told her. Another child was a marvelous idea, but just not at the moment. Teanna didn't much know if she could take care of another child so early. "It's a great idea, love. But just, give me a little more time, alright?" She felt bad that she had to say no, but she had to. "Sorry" She whispered, head leaning forward to rest against his shoulder.

Earlier, she was much willing. Now, now she just needed more time. Let the children grow a bit, so she didn't have to watch over them so much. If she were pregnant again, and with these two small children, and with him at work, well she wouldn't be able to handle it.

Noah nodded; stroking her hair with the tips of his slender fingers. "Tell me more about your relatives." He remembers mentally postponing the question before, but throughout the year, he's been very curious. He kissed the top of her head, letting his thoughts wander. Noah is retrospecting, looking into the past. He does that alot, because he believes that in retrospection, it's also introspection, to learn, to grow, and so forth. Noah's a deep thinker.

How did they first meet? Yes, by the waterfall. He had fallen off the mountains. It was such a surprise, to see her there. And to think, he almost killed them both too! But Noah took her dress, put out the fire, and in the process burning his hands. She had bandaged them for him, saved him from drowning, and she even allowed him to use her cave as shelter. But Teanna had slapped him, and called him an ungrateful pig. The memories caused a wide grin to spread across Noah's features.

-Teanna blinked and looked down. "My relatives..." She lifted a hand, and tapped a finger against her lips as she thought. "My mother, my real mother, her name's Rose, well...Rosalinda. She was a whore." Teanna nodded, not bothered at all by the fact that she'd just called her real mother a whore. "One of her most favorite customers began threatening her when he learnt that my mother had gotten pregnant because of him. So she ran away. She gave birth to me, and handed me to her sister, then went back to her job. That favorite customer became engaged to her, she gave him a son, and then he killed her. I'm not sure where said brother is, but from what I've heard, he killed said father."

Teanna shrugged her shoulders. She never considered that man her brother. Because in all truth, they weren't connected to eachother. She had only found out about his existence 9 years ago, when she ran away from home. But him? Well he probably didn't know about her at all. "My sister, Lina, mentally incapacitated, and a beauty. My adoptive mother turned her against me, because she feared I would some day grow afraid of Lina's episodes, and blow her up. And the rest, well the rest you know."-

Noah blinked, taken aback by Teanna's dislike .. well, maybe more like hatred, for her own mother. He once felt hatred for his mother, but that's from ignorance. He thought she had abandoned him to the cruelty of the world. But upon learning the truth, he respects and loves Camile. Noah can't imagine feeling such abhorrence for Camile. But then again, from what Teanna says, Rose is nowhere near the mother Camile is. Camile is wise and strong-willed, definitely no light-weight. To Noah, Rose seems .. weak and selfish, at the least. But then, maybe he shouldn't judge so hastily.

"Our kids," Noah glanced to little Noah and Bella, "They won't live like we did, right?" It was a sort of rhetorical question. Noah turned his head, and gazed steadily down at Teanna. She has lived such a difficult, agonizing life. But then, so has he. Everything would be okay now, right? Noah bit his lips, and hugged Teanna tightly. A part of him wonders how it'd be like, if one of Teanna's relatives visit them. He's sure though, Teanna wouldn't exactly welcome them.

-Teanna sighed softly. She would've much liked to meet her brother. Thank him for having avenged her mother. But then again, why did she care? Didn't she hate Rose? She hated her for what she'd done, but not for everything. She was her mother after all. Teanna then nodded. "No, of course they won't. We'll be great parents." There was no hint of doubt in her words, she was so very sure of herself. They had each other for advice, and they had Noah's mother. Maybe she'd meet her some day. She'd much like that. But explaining that her ribbon got stained when Noah bit her neck...well...that might be a bit of a nuisance.

Teanna held tightly onto him, and she smiled as he crushed her small body against his. "Everything'll be fine, love."