Hi. My name is___ and I'm a(n)

I believe that was the single most horrifying mental image I've ever had.

Thanks for that.

You are very welcome.

I'm glad that I could be of service.

Now on the next episode, Goobers will waltz with blenders.

.....wait, what are Goobers exactly? Is that a candy or a nickname for a person?

It's a candy, I think. Something right out of Willy Wonka.

At least we know it isn't the one that made the girl blow up.....or is it?

Blueberry!

I think they're like jawbreakers, or something. I'm not sure.

I'm really not that big of a fan of candy.

What about pudding?

You know, those snack packs?

Love pudding. Lived off of it for a week after my tongue piercing.

Pudding is awesome.

My neice loves chocolate pudding, so I have to buy it all the time.....

I just hope that I don't turn her into a whale.

Little sister will eat pudding until she explodes.

I've taken to giving her some stuff I picked up at the Japanese store, looks like pudding, tastes like pudding, but doesn't seem to have the 'fattening,' for lack of a better word, effect of American pudding.

.....do you call it 'udding?'

After all, those 'p's do tend to make words look fattening.

Nope. I call it, "That stuff that I got at the store."

But that has no flare!

....It needs sparkle and something that makes it...go boom?


Okay, maybe not.

And that's how one gets consuming consumables.

See, you didn't know that I was validating my other statements until now.

I am 1337....okay...I think I will bash my head against the keyboard if I did that wrong.

No comment. >_>

I'm not a fan of the whole, "I R H4X U!" speak. Numbers and letters are different, Kay thanks.

...But I'm---Hm. See, I could break down that little numerical phrase....or just drop the topic as a whole.

So!

Change of topic.

How many licks does it itake to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?

Five, cause three is too cliche.

Does that involve biting?

Well, chomping rather.

Sure, why not?

How many Tootsie Roll pops can a panda consume in 300 seconds?

A lot.

And a few extras.

....So I should take more than ten to the zoo?

I would recommend not taking any. They're less likely to maul you that way.

Good point.

I'll have someone else take the candy.

Now if you see this on the news, please don't rat me out.

Which zoo should I be watching for? I at least want to see the amusing footage of someone getting mauled.